My family member, let's call him John, went to alcohol rehab after his wife gave him an ultimatum

Alcoholism is a devastating condition that affects not only the individual but also their family and loved ones. As Christians, we are called to love and support one another, especially in times of struggle. The story of John, a family member who has relapsed into alcoholism, highlights the complexities and challenges of dealing with addiction within a family. This article aims to provide a Christian perspective on how to support a loved one struggling with alcoholism, emphasizing the importance of not enabling their addiction and the potential role of family intervention.

Josephine’s Story

My family member, let’s call him John, went to alcohol rehab after his wife gave him an ultimatum. However, he left the rehab facility prematurely and against their advice. For a few months after that, he attended weekly virtual AA meetings and managed to stay sober.

Unfortunately, John has now fallen completely off the wagon and is drinking more than ever before. What’s worse is that it seems his entire family is not only okay with this, but they are actually encouraging his drinking by drinking alcohol themselves when they’re with him.

The situation is complicated by the fact that me and several other family members were never supposed to know about John’s rehab stint or his alcoholism. His wife never shared this information with us. We only found out because a different family member broke their confidence and told us.

As I understand it, the best way to support someone in denial about their alcoholism is to avoid drinking around them. Yet I’m appalled that John’s family – including those who know he went to rehab – are nonchalantly drinking in front of him.

I’m really tempted to say something to them about it. I know it’s not my place to confront John directly, as that likely wouldn’t do any good. The only way I think we could get him back into rehab is through a family intervention. But clearly no one else would join me for that; they all seem to be in denial too.

I’ve seen takes that say it’s ultimately the alcoholic’s choice whether to drink or not, and their loved ones should be able to do as they please, including drink. On the other hand, I’ve also seen the view that if you know someone is an alcoholic, you absolutely should not drink around them, as it’s effectively putting a drink in their hand.

I’m really disgusted that they’re enabling and encouraging John’s alcoholism this way, but I don’t know if I’m overreacting. We have a family reunion coming up that I’m absolutely dreading because of this situation. I’m at a loss for what to do and would appreciate any feedback.

Note: All names and details have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.

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Enabling behavior refers to actions that, intentionally or unintentionally, support an addict’s substance use. This can include providing financial support, making excuses for their behavior, or, as in John’s case, drinking alcohol in their presence. Enabling can prevent the individual from facing the full consequences of their addiction, thereby delaying their recovery.

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.Galatians 6:1-2

According to WebMD, enabling behaviors can include: – Giving money to the addict. – Covering up for their actions. – Taking over their responsibilities. – Justifying their substance use.

The Christian Response to Addiction

The Bible is clear about the dangers of drunkenness and the importance of self-control. Ephesians 5:18 states, “Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.” As Christians, we are called to help our brothers and sisters in Christ overcome sin and live a life that honors God.

In dealing with addiction, it is crucial to balance compassion with accountability. Galatians 6:1-2 advises, “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.James 5:19-20

The Role of Family Intervention

Family intervention can be a powerful tool in helping an addict recognize the severity of their problem and encouraging them to seek treatment. According to NCBI, family intervention therapy can significantly improve the outcomes for individuals struggling with alcohol dependence. It involves the family in the treatment process, providing support and helping to create a healthier family dynamic.

Practical Steps for Supporting John

Avoid Enabling Behavior: It is essential to avoid actions that enable John’s drinking. This includes not drinking alcohol in his presence and not making excuses for his behavior. As Recovery Centers of America suggests, enabling can delay the time when professional help is sought.
Educate Yourself and the Family: Understanding the nature of addiction and the impact of enabling behavior is crucial. Resources like Al-Anon can provide valuable support and education for family members (American Addiction Centers).
Consider a Family Intervention: A well-planned intervention, possibly with the help of a professional, can help John see the impact of his addiction and encourage him to seek treatment. WebMD provides guidelines on how to prepare for and conduct an intervention.
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries regarding alcohol use and stick to them. This might include not allowing alcohol in your home or refusing to support John financially if he continues to drink.
Pray and Seek God’s Guidance: Ultimately, we must rely on God’s strength and wisdom in dealing with such challenging situations. Pray for John, for his family, and for guidance on how best to support him.

Dealing with a loved one’s alcoholism is incredibly challenging, but as Christians, we are called to support and love them while also holding them accountable. By avoiding enabling behavior, educating ourselves, considering a family intervention, setting boundaries, and seeking God’s guidance, we can help our loved ones on their journey to recovery. Remember, with God, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26), and through Him, we can find the strength to support our loved ones in their time of need.

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.1 Corinthians 6:19-20

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